If I were the rng, I would...

[gut]

• spawn monsters as tagteams: wererat+vortex, ratling duelist+diamond golem, revenant+blink dog

• generate threat rooms of living walls just everywhere

[Pim]

...always spawn two more hot dogs than the character currently has hot dog buns.

[ilsekko]

fill any herbs level with fire vortices, crown (or pre) barbarians with staff of the archmagi, generate potions over firetraps, wait for character to unburden from 'strained!' to 'strained' then promptly break his/her neck on the very next staircase.

[Grey]

Generate threat rooms of summoners in cavernous levels. For crowned lawfuls they'll always be blink dogs.

Make pools only ever give snakes.

[ghostrobotmoonzombie]

put a river, a hive and an anthill on *every* level..

[sorrow]

- generate acid trap right next to the upstairs in Puppy Cave 1, so that the puppy can discover it.

- generate surge of power in the forest and make a tree guardian

[Kyreles]

If I were the RNG I would

• give all Paladins an Auto-Locking Platinum Girdle - just to make sure they keep to their alignment.

[Jursk]

- every time you cast darkness, a grue appears.

[Spellweaver]

- generate surge of power in the forest and make a tree guardian

Who cares? Artifact is laying on the ground anyway, trees can't pick up items.

[Pim]

-generate surge of power in the forest and make a tree guardian

Who cares? Artifact is laying on the ground anyway, trees can't pick up items.

Doesn't have to be bad for the character. It would be funny.

ObRNG:

If I were the rng, I would...
...generate 5 - 10 percent of all monsters with names. Perfectly normal, in-depth monsters, just named.