Chit-Chat thread.

[boris_pankov@inbox.ru]

Hey Guys! who have seen Terminator 4? What is your opinion about this movie?

[Epythic]

Hey Guys! who have seen Terminator 4? What is your opinion about this movie?

Have not seen it and won't; trailer was waaay too bad.

[boris_pankov@inbox.ru]

now I have seen it myself. Puked in the movie theatre.

[gut]

Are they up to 4 already. Hmm.
I haven't been to the theator since, um... um...

My breakdown of theators is like this:

1. Sit through a half hour of crap comercials,
which advertise, mainly, other crap movies.

2. Sit through a 2 hour long piece of boring
nonsense, that happens to be filled with additional
comercials.

3. I leave, thinking of all the other ways I
could have spent the last few hours.

[boris_pankov@inbox.ru]

This is a great holyday in our country. It is a day of Air Landing Forces. In this day people dressed in stripped T-shirts and blue caps are wandering in the streets aimlessly. They bath in the fountains and cry loudly different slogans like: "Glory to Russia!" "Death to Enemies!" or "Hail to the Air Landing forces!". Police is ordered not to bother them and allow to walk the streets drunk. To be honest police is trying not to meet them at all because it`s one of the best fun for troopers this day to kick somebodys ass (doesn`t matters whoose ass is this - policeman`s or civilians) Gosh I hate this bastards! That evening I was returning from the country barbeque and met couple of this troopers. I was with my girlfriend and bastards started to harass her offering join them and leave this looser (meaning me of course). I answered something in unpleasant way (offering them to fuck each other in nearest bushes) and they decided to smite me for my foolish ignorance. Luckily police patrol was walking nearby so I grabbed my girlfriend and gave her in the hands of justice. They refused to protect me but agreed to guide my girlfriend to Subway.
After that there was a long run with heavy backpack around Moscow. They chased me but I choosed crowded places to avoid being beated and they didn`t dare to attack because it was to many people around. The worst of all was that there were more of them in the streets and some decided to join the quest of beating the hell out of my pityfull ass. Finaly I found the bus that was on the station and was going to leave it so I jumped inside crying to the driver to close the door and he drove me away of inevitable vegenace of Air Landing guys.

[gut]

Your post gave me nostalgia for 'Splunge',
a poster that used to frequent one of my
favorite MMA sites. Here's a few samples
of some of the gems he brought us from
time to time:


splunge
Full Member

member is offline

Joined: Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 111
Karma: -6
[ Exalt | Smite ] Ass Whupped
? Thread Started on May 7, 2008, 6:11pm ?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I live in a section of LA that only has parking cops, it's too far away from LA for cops to come. This makes the city the favorite choice of escaped criminals or released cons done served their time.

With no available law enforcement these folk go roaming the streets trying to come up with a way to survive. They usually go brute. They get their kicks.

Some of these guys get territorial. They think the city is their cell and will fight away intruders. They do drugs like speed and steroids. A lot.

So there I am at Vons minding my own business trying to buy some beer and this unwashed little crook comes over and tries to get spare change from this hot babe in front of me in line.

I see he is giving prison hand signals to her, pretending it is an outstretched hand.

I snapped.


I shoved the checker out of the way and grabbed a roll of dimes and dove on him, punched his face all mushy and stamped his genitals. These are the same moves I used to great effect in prison, in Vons it's just worse, nobody will save you in Vons in this town, in prison there's sometimes a guard.

I have to admit it was thrilling just cowboy boot pointy toe kicking his temple until the cork pops out.


Then I put him in a rear naked leg choke and man the POP sound when his neck cranked too far the wrong way, it shut the whole store up.

This one jerk stared at me like I was circus freak so I let go and did a superpunch that converted to an elbow to the orbital eye socket, he went down fast and I had an idea.

I put their bodies in a male-on-male embrace so when the cops ever get there they have a laugh right off. ha


I guess what I'm trying to say is this town, you can't even go shopping anymore without some sort of nuisance.
---------------------------------------


> ...and



Street Toughs
? Thread Started on Nov 12, 2008, 9:24am ?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A group of neighborhood orphans was sitting on the front porch of my Compton Brownstone, lamenting the prospects any of them ever celebrating a birthday with a party since none of them had parents an none of them had ever experienced a real party firsthand. The only party they had ever shared was that one in the kindergarten books with Dikc, Jane, Rex and Spot.

This prompted me to want to give them all the biggest, most dawg birthday party that any group of kids has ever had.

First, where? I live in a box on the roof and they'd all never fit. But from the roof I could see down into many close-by Compton alleyways sprinkled with many the local box dwelling.

There's the answer, so I grabbed my walking stick and set out to appropriate them in the name of the little children.


My walking stick is a broken ax handle. The foot of it I nailed on a cluster of old horseshoes, I cut an old hubcap up into these little triangle shapes sharpened on the sidewalk and strung and duct taped them twisted outward in impossible directions all over the nailed horseshoes. I dunked the whole magilla into a bucket of epoxy goop and sprinkled broken pieces of a bottle of bud all over it like a five o'clock shadow.

I don't remember much what happened next but I woke up in the alley next to my Brownstone on my stomach, surrounded by some twelve large boxes, my walking stick gone and my pants pulled down, butt stuck up in the air and a human eye stuck in the hole peering blankly outward, looked a little like that creature in Pan's Labyrinth. There was a twitching severed hand in my pant pocket that grabbed by unit and tried to dishrag the thing, I jumped up and started slugging myself in the crotch until the thing gave off a death rattle and collapsed unconscious to the bottom of the pocket.

I missed a ton of slugs though and my right hand jewel ended up torn away from all that the interior tubings, the left one like a stepped-on grape. But all that busy bee stuff left me very excited for some reason. My other pocket had a huge roll of duct tape and I went to work constructing a large box party room for these thankless little orphan nutsheads.

By the end of the day I had this giant imposing party room with even boy and girl 'bathrooms' with little shoebox toilets; I even cut little windowflaps to let the stink out. No expense spared. Meanwhile I had collected discarded slices of trash bread and assembled/them them into a sort of birthday party cake with a handful of cigarette butts stuck in like candles. I wheeled up a trash in and bingo the House of Horrors.

And my clown costume was ingenious. I used to BE a clown but hung up my nose in despair after that year in prison, so it was a great psychological achievement for me to don it again finally after all those years, I put on mascara and black lipstick like in my old act, then wore a big depends and boxing gloves. I patted myself down with alley silt and in a way looked like Larry Holmes except for that weird head shape.

A squirting flower, too.

I lit a tire on fire out front and threw three stolen bottles of lit Bacardi 151 in random directions to signal the party with a bang.

All I could think of was these little parasites better appreciate this or this party could tun into a Politeness Management marathon. I had a migraine from some sterno that somehow got in me. An hour later I was in searing agony and they say I was shoving bunches of brats around and throwing them against the wall and crapping my diapers and singing in tongues. All these cops show up all of a sudden. Using my billiard skills I line them up, pull the hand out of my pocket, form a fist with it then throw it punchward, clocking three bulls flat cold out then lit myself on fire and made a run for it. Figured they wouldn't chase me, see.

All of a sudden there's this ear-popping BANG! sound knocks everyone to the floor where I see a wrecking ball swing away from the Brownstone, but the impact loosens the whole side wall and it topples down and squashes everyone. Everyone but me because just like in that old Ben Turpin silent movie an open window shape surrounds just me and I am spared.

Anyway I didn't end up beating up anybody so there's the twist right there, I am a changed man.


God Bless
-------------------------------------------

> ...and



So This Jerk Ups to Me
? Thread Started on Oct 12, 2008, 5:02am ?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I mean, I'm minding my own business in a wheelchair after that dam colonoscopy and this jerk ups to me wants spare change. I was naked except that hospital gown, but had my wallet, keys, some preparation H and as bad luck for him would have it, a can of Campbell's New England Clam Chowder hidden in the cusp of my left hand. I had a roll of quarters in my right hand for the taxi, I don't remember how I got the can of soup but it doesn't matter. I had just eaten this bag of diet potato chips, you know, the kind they advertise on TV that says watch out for oily discharge. Never knew what they meant until that day but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anyway he did something or something and I clocked him three times, on the orbital eye socket, then the temple then a cupped slap to the ear.

So this dude wants trouble, does he? He thinks that just because I have a hose with a camera on the end of it coming out me arse he can just have his way?

Here's some advice. Never get in a fight after those chips.

How can I put it. Well the big thing is rememer that even a big fat hospital hose is no workable pig's asscork and that oily discharge I was talkin' about can wheedle itself past these fancy ass hospital gizmo's and now I kick him in the temple, get up to heal him in the teeth while he's on the ground when this awful feeling overtook me.



It was that oily discharge. Out of personal dignity I turned to run but inadvertently sprayed the guy perfectly even head to toe; I mean he looked like a Hollywood tan clinic customer with that evenly spaced fine mist of oily brown discharge. Free? Ha. I took his wallet of course. So he's Mr. Tough guy? Don't think so

Can I sue anyone? How much should I ask for?
---------------------------------------


> ... you want more?

[boris_pankov@inbox.ru]

He he ))
24 of august some guy in california (San Matheo town) came to a school (Hillside) with different weapons and explosives to kill some scolars. That cannot surprise anyone, they shoot in schools all the time in europe and america. But this guy was armed with a SWORD and chainsaw!!!!

GUT, It was you, right? )))

[Jack the Ripper]

He he ))
24 of august some guy in california (San Matheo tiown) came to a school (Hillside) with different weapons and explosives to kill some scolars. That cannot surprise anyone, they shoot in schools all the time in europe and america. But this guy was armed with a SWORD and chainsaw!!!!

GUT, It was you, right? )))

Neah, Gut would've brought along the Shield of Raw Steel, his all-time favourite artifact

[FantomFang]

Does that mean the real danger was not Gut, but the Writhing Mass of Primal Chaos that he would soon become? (wait, a Chainsaw! That must have been the "lawnmower" Gut injured himself with! The little sneak...)

[Jack the Ripper]

Does that mean the real danger was not Gut, but the Writhing Mass of Primal Chaos that he would soon become? (wait, a Chainsaw! That must have been the "lawnmower" Gut injured himself with! The little sneak...)

With a bit of effort and if you're flexible, I guess you could mow the lawn with a chainsaw