The most recent, the most heartbreaking, and the most stupid death of my career

[Snock]

Been playing for nearly two decades, and never achieved a legitimate ultra ending. That was about to change.

I gave Khelavaster an amulet of life-saving that I had found, and didn't even have to wish for. I bested the mummy lord in his pyramid and cleansed the dwarven graveyard. I satisfied the demented ratling. I swore Devotion to The One Who Kills, and became its champion. I solved the minotaur maze and vanquished their emperor. I completed Gaab'Bays quests, and earned the Medal of Chaos. I defeated the Orb Guardians and descended deep into the Caverns of Chaos. I slew the ancient blue wyrm in its lair to please Sharad-Waador and earn the artifact dagger Sting. I slew countless more ancient blue dragons for experience, and quaffed the many stat potions they dropped. I visited the Assassin Prince, and received the quest though he was hostile... The assassins panicked the first step I took off the stairs. I exploded Filk in a mighty fireball on level one of the infinite dungeon. The Mad Minstrel told me the location of the scintillating cave, where I vanquished the emperor moloch and read the crumpled scroll immediately, just like you're supposed to. A grateful Khelavaster conjured the Trident of the Red Rooster, which I used to destroy Keriax at the Ancient Stone Circle. I wrote a dozen scrolls of cure corruption to prepare myself for the final push, and held on to a blessed ring of djinni summoning, just in case. I cleared D50, and waited until I was corrupted beyond recognition. I took a deep breath and dove into the chaos gate, with the Medal and Crown tucked safely into my backpack, rather than on my neck and head. I was summarily devoured after failing the final test.

There is no force in Ancardia as powerful as my own ineptitude. Anyone have the number for the suicide prevention hotline?