Iridia
01-26-2014, 01:50 AM
Fade in: Live from Ancardia!
Brought to you by our sponsors: Ratling Traders, Inc.
A pretty thirtysomething woman sits at a heavy oak table and straightens a stack of papers, then looks at the camera.
Banks: Welcome to Live from Ancardia. I'm your host, Charlotte Banks, and today we have a very special guest for you all. It's his first and exclusive interview--the man of mystery, the hero of the century! Give a warm welcome to Vaarnim, Avatar of Order!
Canned applause. A man in leather armor strides in and takes a seat at the table. He doesn't seem to want to be there.
Banks: Welcome! Great to see you today. Now, Vaarnim... interesting name, by the way--
Vaarnim: Not really. Where I come from, every parent with a boy baby and no imagination calls you Vaarnim. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting half a dozen Vaarnims.
Banks: Er... well, yes. So, we've all heard about your legendary exploits, but do tell us: Who were your parents?
Vaarnim: Mother's a hooker. Father, don't know, don't care. Glad to be rid of the both of 'em.
Your mother was poor and forced to work as a prostitute. Your
father was unknown. As her looks withered so did your family's fortune,
and you oft went hungry in dank alleys.
You were a selfish child, demanding that your every whim be met and
throwing fits when it was denied.
You were a quiet youth, spending much time alone in the woods. You
used to hunt small animals, sometimes playing with their corpses. One day
your collection of trophies was found by your carer, and you were never
allowed into the woods again.
Banks: Er... ah, so, you had a sort of a... bad start. But you must have come by your piety, your allegiance to Order, your heroic feelings somehow. Were you perhaps attracted to the church?...
Vaarnim: You could say that.
Vaarnim glares at the host, daring her to ask further questions.
You once fell in love with a young brethren, who encouraged you to
repent from your darker ways. But a voice came to you in the night, and
you could not resist its terrible instructions. The muffled screams still
echo through your head.
Banks: Ah... Yes. Well, let's get to the exciting part, the part all our viewers are sure to be interested in: Your journey to the Drakalor Chain. Where was the first place you visited when you arrived?
Vaarnim: A little hole in the wall town. Dirty place, greasy folks. Fellow tried to mug me. I murdered him.
Banks: You... Uh. That must have been quite... uh, traumatic for you, having to defend yourself...
Vaarnim: Then I ate his body. Tasted good.
Banks: You...
Vaarnim: Let me tell you something. That's what I do. I murder things. I'm a killer. Simple as that, all right?
Banks: But you're...
Vaarnim: Yeah, I found the amulet. Save one life, get out of death free. Yeah, I gave it to the old guy. You think that makes me a hero? What it makes me, is somebody who's sick and tired of being ordered around by a washed-up old chaos god who jabbers away in your head whenever you try to sleep. Kill this, mutilate that, raze that village, and while you're at it, make sure to kick a dozen puppies. Oh, and kill the man you love. That, too. You ever sit in the back of your own head and watch your own hands kill somebody?
Banks: Er... I'm...
At the age of 28 you burned all ties to your past, and danced upon
the corpses of those who had wronged you. Bathed in their blood you became
a Chaos Knight.
Vaarnim: Yeah, I was a chaos knight. There, you can tell the tabloids that the rumors are true. Have fun with that juicy bit of gossip.
The host, obviously flustered, looks offstage, perhaps to a producer. The look on her face is an obvious "Why didn't you warn me about this?", but the producer must be at least as surprised as she is. It takes her a moment to pull herself together.
Banks: Let's... change the topic here. How about telling us about your quest for the orbs? I'm sure we've all heard the stories, but we have the chance to hear a first-hand account.
Vaarnim: Well, it's like this. I saved the old fellow's life. He must've thought I was a hero. Mostly, I just couldn't stand to see him sit there and get tortured to death by chaos servants. Brought back bad memories. But then he told me something very interesting: The orbs. They were the keys to the cavern where the Gate was. I may be a killer and I may be the bastard child of a streetwalker, but I'm not stupid. If I closed that gate, I'd be slamming the door straight in Andor Drakon's face. And that was a very satisfying thought.
Banks: So... your quest for the orbs was... a matter of revenge?
Vaarnim: At first. But I had to gather information. I'd already managed to get as much out of Gaab'bay and her ratling friend as I could--took me forever to find her the boar skull, and I still have no idea what she wanted it for, but she gave me her medal. But with all of that, I still had to get myself accepted by the people who knew what was going on in the Chain. And that's a bit difficult to do when you've got as many eyes as one-and-a-half spiders. So in the end, I went to a little shrine, an altar of Balance, and I sacrificed gold there, one piece at a time, and I meditated.
Banks: But as a chaos knight, you must have known you were tempting fate.
For the first time, Vaarnim's scarred face twists into what might almost be a smile.
Vaarnim: Oh, you bet I was. I wanted to show him he couldn't tell me what to do, that if I wanted to walk around giving candy to children and food to beggars and generally being a decent human being, then that was what I was going to do and Andy couldn't do a thing to stop me. Not that he didn't try, of course. Tried to burn me from the inside out. But all that did was make me a really good battlefield medic. Walk a while, patch yourself up, rinse and repeat.
Banks: So did the villagers finally accept you?
Vaarnim: Eventually. Took a bit of persuading, though. Rynt, the carpenter, finally convinced them. I fished him out of that cave while he was still so insane with chaos that he kept trying to take my head off. Luckily I got him to a healer. And learned some healing myself, too. Then once I managed to find the little water dragon's mother--easy to do, what with having gills at the time and all--they didn't mind having me around, for the most part. Well, the sheriff never liked me, but he's a cop. You know how cops are.
Banks: And your quest for the orbs?...
Vaarnim: You keep returning to that. Yeah. I didn't have much trouble with that, actually. Thing is, when you're constantly fighting against a near-omnipotent self-declared deity, a few twisted chaos creatures aren't that hard to murder.
Banks: The fight with the Ancient Chaos Wyrm was--
Vaarnim: Not a problem. By then, I was practically immune to pain. You get a lot of practice fighting fire when your gut's constantly burning, you know. Eat a few fire beetles and a lizard or two, and you're golden. And I'd picked up a nice crossbow and some good ammunition that sliced right through its armor, so by the time I got to him he was halfway dead already.
Banks: So, to you, it was all in a day's work?
Vaarnim: You could say that. I really have to give some of the credit to Blup's mom, though. That trident of hers really came in handy, and I got to be pretty good with it, too. Grand master, actually. So, let's see... Water, fire, air, Earth. Not a problem, any of them. Got a bit surrounded in the Earth temple, but they're slow, and by then I was fast. Oh, and permanently invisible, too. Some of 'em didn't even see me coming.
Banks: So you really did become a hero in the end, didn't you?
Vaarnim: Hero? As if! Yeah, I was out there running a soup kitchen for the beggars, but I just did that to tweak Andy's nose a bit. I took more than one assassination job, you know. Found a guy--well, a karmic wyrm--who wanted a rival dead. Took the job, killed the mark, got myself a nice reward. The Assassin Prince wanted a nasty little quickling dead. Found him, killed him, got myself some information on the hideout of the emperor moloch. Went there, killed him. You seeing a pattern yet?
Banks: Er... well...
Vaarnim: Champion of Law or not, I'm a killer. Those are the facts. And I knew that if I wanted, I could close that gate in Andy's face; but if I did it, I'd cut off the chaos keeping me alive. And then Andy was going to wiggle it open sooner or later, and then I wouldn't be there to stop him the second time. So Khelevaster and I, we made a plan. Instead of just closing the gate, I'd go straight through it and kill the chaos god myself. Not like there was going to be a way back, but what was I going to do, sit on the orbs like a hen on a clutch of eggs and wait for the next fellow to come steal them from me?
Banks: There you have it, folks. That is the kind of courage you expect from an Avatar of Order. A fearless warrior--
Vaarnim: Scared to death, actually. If you're a rebellious chaos knight, you get used to the constant pain after a while, and you can make up for the weakness that comes when you move away from the chaos that's keeping you alive, but once you step through that gate, there's no turning back.
You face a gate leading into the Primal Plane of Chaos itself. Swirling colors
intrude upon your eyes and your mind. You easily resist the confusing sight.
Do you want to enter it? [y/N]
Suddenly you are surrounded by pure swirling chaos.
For a moment you resist the swirling forces...
...and then suddenly your weapon erupts into action.
You take up speed... a lot of it...
...and race through the swirling Chaos evading strange and terrifying figures...
...looming shadows...
...and things you don't want to remember.
You venture even deeper into this strange and fascinating realm...
Suddenly a huge shadow looms over you.
Banks: So tell us about the fight with Andor Drakon.
Vaarnim: Well, he likes to monologue, that's for sure.
You sense an almost almighty presence of a very sinister and evil force.
"Welcome, tiny mortal!"
"Or rather... lest ye be confused..."
"WeLcOmE, tInY mOrTaL!"
*snicker*
"It's almost surprising that you got this far."
"Although you already know me in the depths of your forsaken soul let me
introduce myself in person."
"I am Andor Drakon, the supreme god of Chaos. Thy master. Thy creator."
"Once I was like you, therefore I know ambition."
"It will be a pleasure to squash you like a bug, if..."
Vaarnim: But I had a bit of a surprise for him, thanks to Khlevaster.
The huge form seems to scan you in some indeterminable way.
Suddenly the huge form seems to shiver!
"Uh, you got *that*?"
"AnYwAyS -- iT wOn'T hElP yOu!"
The huge form turns upon you with intense rage!
The environment changes to a huge landscape...
Vaarnim: The fight itself... well, he's a tough opponent, but I'm tougher. He taught me that himself, beating me up over and over. I had to be tougher than Andy to survive that, and I proved it. Little by little, I started hurting him. Eventually, he just couldn't fight anymore, and I had him.
Banks: You won the fight.
Vaarnim: Well, if I hadn't, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you, would I? I'd probably be screaming in pain out of a few dozen tentacled mouths.
After slaying Andor Drakon and dispersing his malevolent energies the
pillars of Order appear before you. All the forces of Order seem to be
united behind them. You are lifted to the status of an Avatar of Order and
the tales of your deeds are spread all over Ancardia.
Your deeds are recounted at camp fires and interpreted by philosophers and
priests alike. The common man looks up to you and you slowly start to be
revered as a minor power of Order. After a few millennia have passed you are
raised to the position of a demi-god to guard and protect Ancardia from the
forces of Chaos and Balance forever.
Under your guidance Ancardia becomes an orderly and organized world without
striking changes. Peaceful order (and boredom?) spreads and the world enters
an era of peace and tranquility never again leaving it.
Banks: So you've created a peaceful world, and we're all grateful. What's next for you, Vaarnim?
Vaarnim: I'm leaving Ancardia.
Banks: Leaving?
Vaarnim: You can take care of yourselves. No more chaos, no more need for killers. I created this world, but there's no place in it for murderers. Too much peace for that. I'll find my own adventure.
Banks: So there you have it, the story from the man himself... Vaarnim, Avatar of Order.
Canned applause. Vaarnim and the host leave the stage. If you look closely, you can see her muttering to herself, "They don't pay me enough to do this..."
Brought to you by our sponsors: Ratling Traders, Inc.
A pretty thirtysomething woman sits at a heavy oak table and straightens a stack of papers, then looks at the camera.
Banks: Welcome to Live from Ancardia. I'm your host, Charlotte Banks, and today we have a very special guest for you all. It's his first and exclusive interview--the man of mystery, the hero of the century! Give a warm welcome to Vaarnim, Avatar of Order!
Canned applause. A man in leather armor strides in and takes a seat at the table. He doesn't seem to want to be there.
Banks: Welcome! Great to see you today. Now, Vaarnim... interesting name, by the way--
Vaarnim: Not really. Where I come from, every parent with a boy baby and no imagination calls you Vaarnim. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting half a dozen Vaarnims.
Banks: Er... well, yes. So, we've all heard about your legendary exploits, but do tell us: Who were your parents?
Vaarnim: Mother's a hooker. Father, don't know, don't care. Glad to be rid of the both of 'em.
Your mother was poor and forced to work as a prostitute. Your
father was unknown. As her looks withered so did your family's fortune,
and you oft went hungry in dank alleys.
You were a selfish child, demanding that your every whim be met and
throwing fits when it was denied.
You were a quiet youth, spending much time alone in the woods. You
used to hunt small animals, sometimes playing with their corpses. One day
your collection of trophies was found by your carer, and you were never
allowed into the woods again.
Banks: Er... ah, so, you had a sort of a... bad start. But you must have come by your piety, your allegiance to Order, your heroic feelings somehow. Were you perhaps attracted to the church?...
Vaarnim: You could say that.
Vaarnim glares at the host, daring her to ask further questions.
You once fell in love with a young brethren, who encouraged you to
repent from your darker ways. But a voice came to you in the night, and
you could not resist its terrible instructions. The muffled screams still
echo through your head.
Banks: Ah... Yes. Well, let's get to the exciting part, the part all our viewers are sure to be interested in: Your journey to the Drakalor Chain. Where was the first place you visited when you arrived?
Vaarnim: A little hole in the wall town. Dirty place, greasy folks. Fellow tried to mug me. I murdered him.
Banks: You... Uh. That must have been quite... uh, traumatic for you, having to defend yourself...
Vaarnim: Then I ate his body. Tasted good.
Banks: You...
Vaarnim: Let me tell you something. That's what I do. I murder things. I'm a killer. Simple as that, all right?
Banks: But you're...
Vaarnim: Yeah, I found the amulet. Save one life, get out of death free. Yeah, I gave it to the old guy. You think that makes me a hero? What it makes me, is somebody who's sick and tired of being ordered around by a washed-up old chaos god who jabbers away in your head whenever you try to sleep. Kill this, mutilate that, raze that village, and while you're at it, make sure to kick a dozen puppies. Oh, and kill the man you love. That, too. You ever sit in the back of your own head and watch your own hands kill somebody?
Banks: Er... I'm...
At the age of 28 you burned all ties to your past, and danced upon
the corpses of those who had wronged you. Bathed in their blood you became
a Chaos Knight.
Vaarnim: Yeah, I was a chaos knight. There, you can tell the tabloids that the rumors are true. Have fun with that juicy bit of gossip.
The host, obviously flustered, looks offstage, perhaps to a producer. The look on her face is an obvious "Why didn't you warn me about this?", but the producer must be at least as surprised as she is. It takes her a moment to pull herself together.
Banks: Let's... change the topic here. How about telling us about your quest for the orbs? I'm sure we've all heard the stories, but we have the chance to hear a first-hand account.
Vaarnim: Well, it's like this. I saved the old fellow's life. He must've thought I was a hero. Mostly, I just couldn't stand to see him sit there and get tortured to death by chaos servants. Brought back bad memories. But then he told me something very interesting: The orbs. They were the keys to the cavern where the Gate was. I may be a killer and I may be the bastard child of a streetwalker, but I'm not stupid. If I closed that gate, I'd be slamming the door straight in Andor Drakon's face. And that was a very satisfying thought.
Banks: So... your quest for the orbs was... a matter of revenge?
Vaarnim: At first. But I had to gather information. I'd already managed to get as much out of Gaab'bay and her ratling friend as I could--took me forever to find her the boar skull, and I still have no idea what she wanted it for, but she gave me her medal. But with all of that, I still had to get myself accepted by the people who knew what was going on in the Chain. And that's a bit difficult to do when you've got as many eyes as one-and-a-half spiders. So in the end, I went to a little shrine, an altar of Balance, and I sacrificed gold there, one piece at a time, and I meditated.
Banks: But as a chaos knight, you must have known you were tempting fate.
For the first time, Vaarnim's scarred face twists into what might almost be a smile.
Vaarnim: Oh, you bet I was. I wanted to show him he couldn't tell me what to do, that if I wanted to walk around giving candy to children and food to beggars and generally being a decent human being, then that was what I was going to do and Andy couldn't do a thing to stop me. Not that he didn't try, of course. Tried to burn me from the inside out. But all that did was make me a really good battlefield medic. Walk a while, patch yourself up, rinse and repeat.
Banks: So did the villagers finally accept you?
Vaarnim: Eventually. Took a bit of persuading, though. Rynt, the carpenter, finally convinced them. I fished him out of that cave while he was still so insane with chaos that he kept trying to take my head off. Luckily I got him to a healer. And learned some healing myself, too. Then once I managed to find the little water dragon's mother--easy to do, what with having gills at the time and all--they didn't mind having me around, for the most part. Well, the sheriff never liked me, but he's a cop. You know how cops are.
Banks: And your quest for the orbs?...
Vaarnim: You keep returning to that. Yeah. I didn't have much trouble with that, actually. Thing is, when you're constantly fighting against a near-omnipotent self-declared deity, a few twisted chaos creatures aren't that hard to murder.
Banks: The fight with the Ancient Chaos Wyrm was--
Vaarnim: Not a problem. By then, I was practically immune to pain. You get a lot of practice fighting fire when your gut's constantly burning, you know. Eat a few fire beetles and a lizard or two, and you're golden. And I'd picked up a nice crossbow and some good ammunition that sliced right through its armor, so by the time I got to him he was halfway dead already.
Banks: So, to you, it was all in a day's work?
Vaarnim: You could say that. I really have to give some of the credit to Blup's mom, though. That trident of hers really came in handy, and I got to be pretty good with it, too. Grand master, actually. So, let's see... Water, fire, air, Earth. Not a problem, any of them. Got a bit surrounded in the Earth temple, but they're slow, and by then I was fast. Oh, and permanently invisible, too. Some of 'em didn't even see me coming.
Banks: So you really did become a hero in the end, didn't you?
Vaarnim: Hero? As if! Yeah, I was out there running a soup kitchen for the beggars, but I just did that to tweak Andy's nose a bit. I took more than one assassination job, you know. Found a guy--well, a karmic wyrm--who wanted a rival dead. Took the job, killed the mark, got myself a nice reward. The Assassin Prince wanted a nasty little quickling dead. Found him, killed him, got myself some information on the hideout of the emperor moloch. Went there, killed him. You seeing a pattern yet?
Banks: Er... well...
Vaarnim: Champion of Law or not, I'm a killer. Those are the facts. And I knew that if I wanted, I could close that gate in Andy's face; but if I did it, I'd cut off the chaos keeping me alive. And then Andy was going to wiggle it open sooner or later, and then I wouldn't be there to stop him the second time. So Khelevaster and I, we made a plan. Instead of just closing the gate, I'd go straight through it and kill the chaos god myself. Not like there was going to be a way back, but what was I going to do, sit on the orbs like a hen on a clutch of eggs and wait for the next fellow to come steal them from me?
Banks: There you have it, folks. That is the kind of courage you expect from an Avatar of Order. A fearless warrior--
Vaarnim: Scared to death, actually. If you're a rebellious chaos knight, you get used to the constant pain after a while, and you can make up for the weakness that comes when you move away from the chaos that's keeping you alive, but once you step through that gate, there's no turning back.
You face a gate leading into the Primal Plane of Chaos itself. Swirling colors
intrude upon your eyes and your mind. You easily resist the confusing sight.
Do you want to enter it? [y/N]
Suddenly you are surrounded by pure swirling chaos.
For a moment you resist the swirling forces...
...and then suddenly your weapon erupts into action.
You take up speed... a lot of it...
...and race through the swirling Chaos evading strange and terrifying figures...
...looming shadows...
...and things you don't want to remember.
You venture even deeper into this strange and fascinating realm...
Suddenly a huge shadow looms over you.
Banks: So tell us about the fight with Andor Drakon.
Vaarnim: Well, he likes to monologue, that's for sure.
You sense an almost almighty presence of a very sinister and evil force.
"Welcome, tiny mortal!"
"Or rather... lest ye be confused..."
"WeLcOmE, tInY mOrTaL!"
*snicker*
"It's almost surprising that you got this far."
"Although you already know me in the depths of your forsaken soul let me
introduce myself in person."
"I am Andor Drakon, the supreme god of Chaos. Thy master. Thy creator."
"Once I was like you, therefore I know ambition."
"It will be a pleasure to squash you like a bug, if..."
Vaarnim: But I had a bit of a surprise for him, thanks to Khlevaster.
The huge form seems to scan you in some indeterminable way.
Suddenly the huge form seems to shiver!
"Uh, you got *that*?"
"AnYwAyS -- iT wOn'T hElP yOu!"
The huge form turns upon you with intense rage!
The environment changes to a huge landscape...
Vaarnim: The fight itself... well, he's a tough opponent, but I'm tougher. He taught me that himself, beating me up over and over. I had to be tougher than Andy to survive that, and I proved it. Little by little, I started hurting him. Eventually, he just couldn't fight anymore, and I had him.
Banks: You won the fight.
Vaarnim: Well, if I hadn't, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you, would I? I'd probably be screaming in pain out of a few dozen tentacled mouths.
After slaying Andor Drakon and dispersing his malevolent energies the
pillars of Order appear before you. All the forces of Order seem to be
united behind them. You are lifted to the status of an Avatar of Order and
the tales of your deeds are spread all over Ancardia.
Your deeds are recounted at camp fires and interpreted by philosophers and
priests alike. The common man looks up to you and you slowly start to be
revered as a minor power of Order. After a few millennia have passed you are
raised to the position of a demi-god to guard and protect Ancardia from the
forces of Chaos and Balance forever.
Under your guidance Ancardia becomes an orderly and organized world without
striking changes. Peaceful order (and boredom?) spreads and the world enters
an era of peace and tranquility never again leaving it.
Banks: So you've created a peaceful world, and we're all grateful. What's next for you, Vaarnim?
Vaarnim: I'm leaving Ancardia.
Banks: Leaving?
Vaarnim: You can take care of yourselves. No more chaos, no more need for killers. I created this world, but there's no place in it for murderers. Too much peace for that. I'll find my own adventure.
Banks: So there you have it, the story from the man himself... Vaarnim, Avatar of Order.
Canned applause. Vaarnim and the host leave the stage. If you look closely, you can see her muttering to herself, "They don't pay me enough to do this..."