First time YASD post/Ratling Chaos Knight/Warning: strong language, mature themes.

Vip woke from what felt like an out of body experience for what felt like enough time to dissolve into a pile of nothingness. She wants to forget, but she can't.

"AGG!! my legss..." Vip blazed in agony.. "I don't have anything better for protection than this ANVIL of plate mail.. I'm going to keep wearing it, dammit! It's my life or theiursss!"

Vip's thoughts began racing once more after righting herself and screaming out loud with shooting, flaming pain through her legs-now-stilts of taught, incredibly lean cartilage, sinew, muscle and raging anger. Vip then shook herself from sleep like a broken child in the wracking arms of a deranged, alcoholic parent on a nightly binge.

Doing painful things delighted Vip. She knew she was the toughest Ratling of her brood and didn't much feel anything, even fear, growing up. Coming out with scruffy scars from several encounters, she brags at every opportunity about them, and usually tries to provoke things into "getting physical" with her to prove her tolerance and to potentially acquire more scars to brag about. After she acquired her powers of Chaos, though, she had an even easier time dominating everyone around her. Constant, raging, discomfort ignoring anger beholds her every thought and action granting her already naturally strong Ratling body an incredible level of offensive pain forwarding capability seen only very rarely, but making her almost oblivious to dodging or parrying even the most basic attacks. Surfs from nearby hamlets pass along rumour of being able to see steam coming out of Vip's neck on very cold days! Of course, this is just her water breathing gills, and actually makes for great intimidating effect on most submissive beings, especially little, puny human children who shriek fear like tiny, wailing banshees when the flaps of Vip's neck skin open wide like gaping maws of an oceanic trench of darkness and when they hear the hollow, wet, fleshy, phlegmy, wracked heaving when Vip draws air in and out for show.

After reaching the village of Terinyo, Vip hastily charged south into the village and found directly in her path a food shop! What damn luck. Paying 20 of 25 gold for a decent looking ration, Vip gorged on it in front of the shopkeeper with reckless hunger.

"YUCK! BLEH! What do you put in thessse thingsss, you!? Bloody piles of dogssshhhit!?

Munxip, as the lad was called by his shop sign outside, smiled with a friendly gaze and recovered almost instantaneously from a left eye twitch of hostility. "No refunds! Ye lemme know if ya see any thieves, okay now? Have a good expedition.. Vip!" as Munxip leaned towards the door out, hoping, with a rather intimidatingly muscular figure, that Vip, would get the idea to leave.

Being born under the sign of the Book meant Vip was smart enough to know that attacking one of her only sources of food was pointless, and forgetting the fact that she has no knowledge of even basic cooking and food preservation methods. Exiting, she crossed aggressively through forests, hills and plains North-West in search of food. In a few hours, she happened upon a small cave entrance near the northern mountain range. Whence entering, she was overcome by an uneasy feeling of dread.. She thought "I'd better not sstay too long here.. Something'sss not right in the air.. Kobold trappersss?" Scratching her head with cautious confusion mixed with furious, rapid, nail on hide zig-zagging, she went through some of the dug out passageways, crushed some animals and goblins while finding a rough set of stairs down very close to the entrance. Not feeling any different from when she came in, Vip thought it was better to "quit while ye still have yer a-head" as she liked to say, so she climbed out of the cave and headed to a rather "welcoming" looking village she thought she saw south of here. "Welcoming" is Ratling slang for "derelict and muddy".

"Terrific! An outlaw ssettlement! That'ss where I belong!" cragged Vip as she marauded through suspicious humanoids. Vip knew finding easy things to mess with here would be common. Beggars, bandits and cutpurses were congregating in various circles around the settlement. They wouldn't be used to Vip crushing their skulls with the flat end of her giant blade. Just for a moment of satiating her rage.. Constant.. Rage.. Splattering a bandit, who decided to mug her, into a pile of reddish paste, she felt her movements were getting swifter despite the lumbering suit of plate mail covering most of her body. Just standing still with her stilt legs and her armor, helmet, gloves and cloak worn, one half-looking (and smelling) at first would suspect a training dummy stuffed with old, soiled animal pelts. She tromped ceaselessly yonder to what looked like another small, legal shop.

"Welcome to Barnabas's Black Market!" boomed a seriously buff Gnome from inside who seemed eager to do business. This Gnome looked so muscular, Vip imagined him crotcheting boulders for fun. Yes, that's correct. Crushing boulders between his legs. Small boulders. Medium sized stones. Large pebbles. "Watch yer fingers, Ratling!" he authoritatively boared with a sharp smile and a raised eyebrow while keeping his eyes firmly clamped on Vip.

Sensing her instincts, to make herself seem smaller so to perhaps influence the Gnome more favorably, she hunched over like an old lady, impressive in the armor, and chattered up to the shopkeeper in a strange sort of half-jumping shuffle while putting in great, noticeable physical effort into, and grunting with, curious frustration as she thought up and then gracked out her fool-proof conversation icebreaker: "Hey sshorty. If I movess yer stuff into dat corner, you can fill up de shop with new stuffs, eyy??" Not waiting for his reply, Vip grabbed every item in the shop, and furiously shot-putted all of them into the far left corner of the room with her right hand. " I saw dat!" burst Barnabas blocking the door, but as soon as the shop keep looked at the piles of his wares that were now neatly stacked vertically in a most categorically pleasing, yet visually appealing way, he paused and then slowly sidestepped away from the exit with a look of wonder that overtakes a small child when it sees a cool looking sword. "I'll be back when ya get ssome more sstuff, okayss?" woofed Vip as she zoomed past Barnabas and out the door. "Have a nice expedition, Vip!" yelled Barnabas as he smiled brightly and waved at the rushing Ratling, who was now headed straight for another, larger, more prominent building.

"How is it that another shopkeeper knows my name? The people of the Drakalor chain shouldn't know of my past deeds.. I lived beyond the east Mountainss!!" Vip angrily deduced while running headfirst through the front door of one of the most visually appealing abodes in the area. Vip then came upon a human male inside who introduced himself as Yergius, master thief, and that the building they were in was the Thieves Guild headquarters of the area. After vigorously shaking Yergius's hand to the point in which any onlooker might think it was going to be ripped off, and to which Yergius wasn't even -seemingly- bothered at all, still smiling awkwardly, yet with an internal massive effort not to openly bellow in pain because of his hand being quickly crushed by a humanoid, bipedal, bodybuilder she-rat, Yergius immediately offered some training in a skill that he said all Ratlings ought to have: counting. "What? Counting? The only thing I need to count is the next thing I'm gonna sssplatter into the ground, and the next one, and the next one.." argued Vip. "What good is the next one if you can't use itaaaaaaahhhhh.. ey? replied Yergius yanking his now compound-fractured hand finally out of Vip's grip. "You want to splatter corpses into paste, aaaaooww... I know. I can tell how your type works aaahhhhaa.... I was following and watching you, ooouuu oww.... I knew you'd find your way here to meeee ahh eventually, and now because you are here, you will be better off knowing how to count before you start to acquire all the stuff you're going to get in your travels haaa... Including gold. Say, how much gold are you carrying now?" Yergius mentioned with a noticeable, rising sense of anticipation in his voice as he reached behind his back for a weapon with his off, non-broken hand.

"Umm.." delayed Vip as she stuck her hand into a side pocket in her backpack... "Five gold pieces" she said. "Only five gold!? Oh COME ON! Gimme a BREAK HERE!" yelled a now fuming, wincing, and worried looking Yergius. "Look, I know I said I'm a master thief, but I'm not.. I'm just a beggar. Really! You think it's a Guild of Thieves here?? It's just one dude in here: me! I can't afford this place because I got the house, and not the -cash- in my Dad's will! THEN, fucking Hotzenplotz & his FUCKHEADS move in, take over the mayor's house, spread-eagle him out in the middle of FUCKIN' town, THEN they started TAKING just about all everyone can scrounge up for their new 'property taxes', and making Barnabas the retarded fucking Gnome SELL IT ALL BACK TO US AT INFLATED PRICES! FUCK! My dad was the REAL master thief.. Took from the 1% and gave to the poor he did, but he froze to death while trying to steal the heart of the Ice Queen out West. That bitch is fuckin' cold-hearted man.. Never, EVER fall in love with a female ice-mage with daddy issues, man.. Never... Anyways.. Umm.. Could you lend me 5 gold?"

-

Vip decided that it was just 5 gold. She dropped it from her clutch onto the floor, and chose in her mind to barge in on Hotzenplotz. Yergius frantically picked up the gold and wanted to say something to Vip, but she was already out the door. Hotzenplotz seemed to Vip like a friend to have in these hard times of chaos. After waiting for about a good six minutes while his bodyguard at the imposingly thick and sturdy ironwood door with forged iron hinges searched Vip several times over like an addict looking for another fix with quick, short breaths and annoyed, reserved grunting while "doin' the routine" on the visitor, the half-orc looking bouncer fellow finally let through.

Hotz, as he preferred to be called, was an immediately imposing individual with a long, black beard down to about his belly button, and gathered with several strands of deer skin. Hotz's high quality fur torso pelts, beaver pelt hat, and fine leather armor, along with his physical stature and criminal, confident smile were quite apparent. The piercing stare of his two half-orc bodyguards only added to the, strange, tense state of the small, front room they were all in as the bouncers wandered throughout catching flies and giving each other high fives that were so loud it would be like a huge ass blue fin tuna being slammed into the side of your face by a dockworker at a pier while you stand around unsuspecting. "Do me a favour, lass.." offered Hotz. "Kill the healer in the North-East.. He's so goody-goody I can't fuckin' STAND him!! And maybe you could earn another favour if ye want.. Kill the fuckin' Sheriff in Terinyo.. I'll do ye a great favour if ye succeed at either of em requests.. Now fuck off."

Nodding and frantically running out from the building and out into the eastern clearing of this ballin' town, Vip screamed "Killing a healer? Sounds easy!!" Charging at full sprint with clanking metal plate armor filling up the surrounding air, she headed for the North-East.

Along the way, through the forest, she perceived a Goblin encampment. As she got closer, it reeked of musky oil and unwashed creatures of darkness.. Feeling uneasy, yet driven by insatiable blood-lust, Vip burst into the front entrance of the pallisaded fort, cleaving puny Goblin skulls with her hefty two-handed sword, and slicing furiously into the heart of the camp. She felt her muscles getting used to all the running around in heavy armor and sword swinging. Feeling stronger, much more swift and tougher by the minute thanks to her stilt legs combined with her armor, Vip sprinted and cleaved her path to the front of the blockaded safe room of the chieftains while mowing down frothing, wicked, bloodshot-eyed, berserk Goblin guards who are usually brainwashed into throwing their lives away for the tribe by the slightly more intelligent chieftains. Doors bolted locked, she back-pedalled to the North side of the fort and smashed an Ogre attempting an ambush around the corner wall. Looting his stash, she finally found a secret entrance to the boss lair on the south side. Feeling very self-confident, Vip bashed in the leaders' heads and moved on to the unassuming cave near where she woke up earlier.

While exterminating a large nest of rats and pillaging a pick-axe from a Hobgoblin explorer, she noticed the three level cave had no healer.. Moving on like an enraged Grizzly bear, she headed south in hopes of finding another cave to where Hotz mentioned the healer. She arrived in due course to a cave leading in to the depths of the hills a few hours South, near Terinyo. Early on, she managed to kick down a door that was booby trapped by a mad mage's spell. Her two-handed sword was shredded into shiny pulp by a magical, loud explosion of energy bursting out from all directions as she recoiled around one hundred and eighty degrees to shield herself. Luckily, she equipped a reclaimed, functional, large, adamantium hammer and a large shield from yet another Goblinoid. Vip wondered if those smelly Gobs are just lucky enough to find them in an old dwarven ruin, or being supplied by a more generous group? The new equipment proved effective in smashing the poor healer as Vip descended to the next levels.

Clearing out the rest of the cavern, Vip returned to Hotz who instructed her to visit the doctor in town. Vip was pricked by a needle from the insane, dirty by Ratling standards human, and had a strange gem pressed against her head. Vip blacked out. After she woke up on the other side of town, Vip noticed that the deep puncture wound on her arm from the doctor's needle was already healed. Pondering on where to go next, Vip decided to go to the small cave she was at a while back. Going through the small cave and into an unremarkable dungeon, Vip was having no trouble moving deeper into the caves, until she came upon a small pool of yellowish liquid in the ground. Not being able to remember when last she hydrated, Vip scooped up with two hands some of the dubious water. Nothing was happening. Vip's skin wasn't burning, so it wasn't acid, nor did the yellow liquid smell like an ooze of the same colour, or some kind of liquefied sulphur.. Slurping a mouthful with wincing eyes, Vip gurgled, swallowed and waited.. Several seconds passed but for what seemed like an eternity. She heard a very faint whisper in her ears, or was it her head? "..what do you wish for?"

-

Not knowing if she herself was hallucinating on some kind of psychedelic cavern runoff from a rare patch of mushrooms somewhere else in the caves, Vip still swore she heard the voice. "What do you wish for?" the voice asked again, now more audibly. Vip half-laughed and wondered if this -was-really happening, what would be the best thing to wish for? Riches? Weapons? Power? Immortality? Chocolate!? "I wish for an amulet that when worn, will prevent the wearer of the amulet from dying if the wearer of the amulet ends up dying." Vip said aloud with sarcastic prosody. Just like that, before Vip had time to close her jaws, she heard a muffled sound from inside her backpack, a sound somewhat akin to perhaps a small chain being dropped from slightly above -into- the backpack with a slight dinging. Peeking into her pack, right on top was a small amulet made completely of steel. Vip was impressed. She took another sip of the liquid. It seems as though getting a wish granted would be the best thing to happen to her for the next little while because Vip was suddenly hit by a huge gush of water flowing up from the pool, and then an elemental made of the pool water formed in front of her! After a tough battle Vip finally managed to smash enough of the elemental's body of.. water out from itself and the rest collapsed into a small puddle.

Still, she was thirsty. Another handful of yellow water. She felt her muscles bulge with strength! Another! How -very- lucky Vip felt as she downed another sip. Things are looking up! Another! Vip felt like she aged more than twice her lifespan lived so far after the next sip. Still, being now a unnaturally aged adult Ratling has advantages. Another sip for Vip and she suddenly could not see herself anymore! She could see everything else, but not herself! She had turned invisible! Suddenly a pile of water snakes came thrashing out of the pool! Vip readied her weapon, but.. the snakes couldn't see Vip! Killing the snakes easily, Vip kept sipping, feeling stronger as she went, but eventually then began to feel very, very ill. More snakes came out of the pool, but were no match for Vip. The last few sips made Vip feel very flexible and like jumping around for some reason. Maybe there -was- some strange plant runoff coming from deeper in.. Moving on, Vip, though sick, decided to decimate an animated clay golem that was in her way. It got lucky and clobbered Vip in her gut, sending her flying westwards.. Vip painfully put on the new amulet she got earlier and limped on. Having to be careful now, she began to be followed by a Hobgoblin.. into a room that made her shudder..

The room Vip shuffled into was a trap room. Every single spot on the floor in this room has a trap built into it. As if by a unknown miracle, several explosive fireball traps later, Vip realized the fire beetle corpses she ate earlier in her travels must have granted her some great measure of fire resistance because despite being near death, Vip was barely singed by all the blasts. Not so much for the hobgoblin. Finally making it outside of the caves, Vip could see a fortress-like village on a hill a short walk on the plains Southwards. Invisibly sneaking into the busy fortress, with all manner of species of beings rushing about in and out with carts of items, food and such, she found a burly-looking human adventurer casually pacing back and forth outside the main gate. Thinking she could perhaps chat him up for some advice, Vip approached and asked "Heyyss there bub! I could use some help! Over here!" Startled by the fact that there was no one to be seen in front of him, the burly adventurer cried out with panic "DIE, YE VILE SCUM!" and swung his sword out wildly, catching Vip's neck artery, and invisible blood sprayed everywhere. The amulet around Vip's neck tingled on her chest, dissolved into thin air, and.. Vip regained herself. The only other thing Vip might have felt, ironically, after regaining her very own life, is regret because shortly after sneaking away from the burly adventurer, she decided to take out her frustrations on a old looking Dwarven veteran short-stack moseying around the common grounds. Upon realizing that the Dwarf could swing his axe with such old-fashioned, terribly effective, wizened, sagacious timing, it was too late for Vip. She was too consumed by her own thoughts of Chaos to perceive when the battle was already over as Vip's head lay mangled on the ground, without an amulet that saves your life, and was eventually dragged away by the Ogre Prison guard on duty to be fed to the dogs.