"Is that a spear in your pocket or are you just....."

It's an artifact. It weighs what it damn well pleases.

Yes, there is a bug here. Soaker was obviously intended to be one-handed. :D

Khelavaster, the ancient sage, takes the blessed shining long spear "Soaker". Khelavaster, the ancient sage, suddenly seems to be very excited. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, starts to move his hands according to ancient arcane rituals you never before have witnessed. Nothing special seems to happen. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, suddenly seems to panic! Khelavaster, the ancient sage, quaffs the blessed potion of youth. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, seems to be revitalized! You feel Mana collecting around you. Magic seems to be drawn from everywhere to center upon this place. Nothing happens. Suddenly Khelavaster, the ancient sage, looks very sad. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, mumbles under his breath: "I no longer hath any *cough* use for such *cough* implements." The goodwife seems to chuckle. The goodwife seems to chuckle. The goodwife seems to chuckle. The goodwife seems to chuckle. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, seems to be enraged! Khelavaster, the ancient sage, suddenly seems to stop for a moment. You feel a change of mind in a being close to you. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, regards you with eyes full of sorrow and pain. Khelavaster, the ancient sage, invokes an incantation. A black bolt hurls down from the sky! Khelavaster, the ancient sage, is hit by incredible magical energies! Khelavaster, the ancienct sage, is instantly killed! As you watch your friend perish, you are reminded of the old teachings saying that everything has a time to pass on.

Fixed.

And triple-LOL at _Ln_'s comment :-D