a couple options might be:
highlight mode (only outer ring/circumference)
highlight mode (only walls)
darker color out of view
darker colors (only walls)
not really sure how many more colors ascii has available, maybe one or all of those options could have toggles for people to find something comfortable for them. i agree current highlight is a little too washed out for playing but i still use it to check. :>
edit: (only walls) toggle could include trees
another option could be like a crosshair - 4 highlighted tiles, one at end of view range E/S/W/N... or maybe one space before it if the highlight would be distracting.
again not sure if they're available but i guess personal preference for a highlight mode would be making the out-of-view floors/walls(nothing else?) one shade darker.