If I were the rng, I would...

[Stingray1]

Granted, but the next sips have the following outcomes: +Tele, snakes, water elemental, -TCtr, +Doom.

. Situation, I am currently in. Didn't get the wish though. Flippin blink dogs refusing corpses.

[SirTheta]

Granted, but you trigger a fireball trap next to your extremely experienced quickling queen friend in D: 48. You know, the one with 1200 speed and 10 poisonous attacks per round that ignore PV.

Would work better as leaving DH. No chance to escape then (by D:48 you should be able to escape quickling queens or deal with them).

[Pim]

You two aren't getting in character.

The random number generator is not lawful evil as y'all seem to think. It is chaotic neutral. The only reason so much anti-player sentiment comes up in this thread, is because the forum poster demographic naturally tends to include more bitter vets. [Seinfeld] Not that there's anything wrong with that.... [/Seinfeld]

ObRNG: ...ensure that it never rains near the Tower of Eternal Flames.

[gut]

indeed. rain should be for immediate drakalor chain entry, just outside of the library and scintilating cave.

[Knight]

Put all stairs in darkened rooms.

[prime]

Trap all doors that can't be kicked diagonally.

Generate plenty of eternium arrows of slaying and refuse to produce any bows.

Give out an adamantium two-handed sword of devastation early on. Promptly destroy it once the player has wasted enough weapon marks on it. Bonus points every time they're tricked into meleeing something they shouldn't.

Generate plenty of mirror rooms for ugly characters. Give out DSMs and eternium plate mails. Place emperor liches in unlikely locations who cast death ray on sight.

[JellySlayer]

Make sure that the random bolt from wands of ball lightning is always pointed in the direction to maximize damage to the PC.

Make your first wilderness encounter an ambush by two jackalwares and a throng of jackals.

Have a black wizard hiding in the big room who summons spider factories.

If you have teleportitis and no control, always trigger a random teleport when you are next to a staircase. If you have teleportitis and control, trigger constantly when you are in a big fight.

If you are running away from a cat, spawn another one coming in the opposite direction.

Spawn the Dwarftown greater daemon next to Garth and/or the Demented Ratling and have him eat them.

Make herb generations very slow when you're just waiting around. Make them lightning fast when you try to rearrange anything.

[Laukku]

When waiting for herbs to regenerate, create a fire vortex just outside LOS and have it explode (while w5 is still in effect) so that the player isn't killed but the herbs are destroyed.

[gut]

> Make your first wilderness encounter an ambush by two jackalwares and a throng of jackals.

this has to be the best one in this thread

[Knight]

Generate the up stairs in the SMC exactly in the middle so you don't know which corner the blanket is in.